megoizzy: so ben is totally gung ho about ireland
megoizzy: i called him today
megoizzy: and he was standing in the travel section of borders looking at ireland books
megoizzy: lol
acousticjoe13: hahahahaha
megoizzy: i'm like "where are you???" cause he sounded kind of weird
megoizzy: truthfully, he sounded stoned
acousticjoe13: that man lives in borders
megoizzy: he's like "i'm in borders. in the travel section"
megoizzy: i know
megoizzy: lol
megoizzy: well yeah, i've told you
megoizzy: so anyway. yeah. i'm like "what are you looking at?" and he's like "can you guess"
megoizzy: hahah
acousticjoe13: hahaha
acousticjoe13: he should just stand in borders holding up books... like a cardboard standee
megoizzy: lol
megoizzy: if he had hair, they could put a fan on him and make him wear silk robes
acousticjoe13: and he could be like "no man, you shouldn't buy that"
megoizzy: and then he would look like a celine dion cardboard standup
acousticjoe13: hahahaha!
megoizzy: or like, someone wanders over toward the jlo spread and he doesn't move, just whispers "don't do it"
acousticjoe13: HAHA! "PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE CHER SECTION"
megoizzy: lol
megoizzy: !!!! that is hysterical
acousticjoe13: "PLEASE DISPURSE, THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE HERE"
megoizzy: "GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS"
acousticjoe13: LOL
megoizzy: heheheheh
acousticjoe13: every once in a while he'll just yell out "dar williams!"
megoizzy: lol
megoizzy: or ya know "BEN FOLDS LIVE. UNCENSORED"
acousticjoe13: lol... "AHAHAHAHA, ben murphy is funnny....*snore*"
megoizzy: hehehehehehehehehehehe
megoizzy: *falls face first into the oprah book of the month display"
megoizzy: "BEN HARPER!"
acousticjoe13: hahahaha!!!!
megoizzy: heheh
acousticjoe13: the coffee bar part of borders would be called "the little narcoleptic bean"
acousticjoe13: and for some reason, the would serve white russians only
megoizzy: heheheh
megoizzy: and they would have a photo out front
megoizzy: of ben smiling, only he would be smiling in that kind of maniacal "i'm having a photo taken so i look freaky" ben sort of way
acousticjoe13: LOL!
megoizzy: heh
acousticjoe13: he'd be sitting backwards in a car
megoizzy: AHAHAH!!!
megoizzy: holding up some kind of sponge bob paraphanalia
megoizzy: and the photo would actually be one of those billboards that changes like a hologram or whatever
megoizzy: so if you walk around, it goes from ben smiling with the spongebob paraphanalia to ben asleep with his head on his chest
acousticjoe13: hahahaha! and when people walk by, a recording would say... "so... um,.... like, where are you from..... wow.... so.... um, tell me..... like...... is it cool there"
megoizzy: heheheheheheh
megoizzy: or "wow.... yeah... wow, that rocks. that is cool. yeah, so, tell me, so are you, is, what is your name?"
acousticjoe13: HAHAHA!
acousticjoe13: i would love to see ben dress like a truck driver... like the movie ben murphy... how surreal would that be ..lol
megoizzy: yeah except that was like a 70s groovy truck driver
megoizzy: he would have to grow out a mullet, and that terrifies me
acousticjoe13: he could wear a wig... and he has to start calling everyone "turkeys"
megoizzy: lol
megoizzy: and saying phrases like "holy macarole!"
acousticjoe13: hahahaha! "these glasses are still dirty"
megoizzy: heheheheheh
megoizzy: but the twist would be
megoizzy: everytime he got into a high speed truck chase
acousticjoe13: "give it the ol college try sam"
megoizzy: or his brakes went out on a big hill
megoizzy: he would fall asleep in the middle of it
acousticjoe13: HAHAHA!
megoizzy: and awake in just enough time to save the day
acousticjoe13: i. must. make. that. movie!
megoizzy: *snore* bus careening down hill *snore* helicopter following "what's he doing ? what's he doing?" girl in back of truck "please don't make me explode!" *snore* truck heading for sharp curve *cut to commercial* *snore* cue scary music * girl in back screams* "What in god's name is HE DOING???" *snore huge gasp of air "huh? AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech* truck comes to stop* ben gets out, his wig flowing in the breeze, he opens the back doors and kisses the girl* roll credits
acousticjoe13: HAHAHAHAHA!
acousticjoe13: don't forget about the patent papers
acousticjoe13: lol
megoizzy: oh right
acousticjoe13: "sam, my patent papers are on a slight incline"
megoizzy: *pulls patent papers out of right rear jeans pocket where we see a decent glimpse of his panty line* "knew it was there all along!" *cue laughter* roll credits
acousticjoe13: lol... and there will be a credit for "the elusive robert denby played by- marlon brando" .... but we'll never see him in the movie
megoizzy: AHAHAHA